If you don't get the Beyonce reference in the title, stop reading and listen to the radio (or crawl out from under your rock). A lot of singles have come out lately from pop divas and such, and this post is designated to reviewing a few of them. They range from great (Britney) to wanting to be smothered like the poor woman (whom I refuse to believe is the artist herself) on the album artwork in the case of Lady Gaga.
Leighton Meester feat. Robin Thicke "Somebody to Love- Single" (3.5/10)
Let me add a disclaimer here by saying I have never understood Mr. Thicke's appeal. For a womanizing songwriter, he has a very unfortunate name, and the fact that he's trying to reinvent himself as the next Stevie Wonder (sans piano and blindness) only serves to enrage me.
The song itself is not that great. I had high hopes for Leighton going into this premiere single, due to her fantastic delivery in the Cobra Starship song "Good Girls Go Bad," and her (kind of awesome) leaked cover of "Bette Davis Eyes." But, for some reason, Leighton decided to piss me off by choosing a song which requires her to speak-sing while Thicke carries the shallow melody. If you didn't see Meester's dated pop-art cover on the single, you would think that Robin was the star of the show, as he overpowers her voice at every turn.
In short, this is not a "bad" song, per se, just a boring one. Which is actually worse, in my opinion.
Britney Spears "3" (8/10)
"Are you in?/Living in sin is the new thing!" Britney teases from her new single, hot on the heels of the announcement of a Greatest Hits album. This wonderful exercise in electro-pop, written and produced by Max (!!) Martin is a romp through the life of... well... a slut. And, in true Spears' style, it works even with it's strong threesome-esque invitations. (Side note, they bleeped out "sin" in the music video. Weird, right?)
The whole single is pure fun, especially on the falsetto bridges where Britney actually (gasp!) sings. The chorus is not as utterly perfect as what comes before, but it's hard to fault something for being TOO catchy in parts. Recommended for people who have a sense of humor and will not feel compelled to proposition the couple next door after hearing it.
Lady Gaga "Bad Romance" (2/10)
(Cheesy pun in five, four, three...) I am not gaga for Gaga, but I do like her enough to feel invested in her career. The problem I have is that, unlike P!nk, Britney, and Paris Hilton, her voice is not a facade. Why is this a problem? Because on her albums, it sounds as if it is. I have seen many a live YouTube video of her singing various covers, ranging from Imagine to Viva La Vida. She has a gorgeous voice, almost classical, actually, and it warms my soul to know another Xtina exists. Then LoveGame comes on my radio and it makes me want to punch someone in the disco stick.
Unfortunately for this Lady, there is nothing elegant or original about Bad Romance. Quite simply put, it's BAD. Blatantly reusing parts of the melody to Poker Face, she tries to coo. I don't know how much you have heard Gaga songs, but the girl should. Never. Coo. The air of seduction she tries to place around the number ends up sounding like a corny 2002 track from a movie like Step Up or another crap (I mean "dance") flick. And sorry, m'Lady, but no one is going to be popping or locking to this little ditty. Unless the new "Queen of Pop" gets her act together, in few years you'll be hearing "Lady Gaga? That is SO 2009."
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