Cougars Eat Owls for Breakfast

There are many ways to write an introduction to a blog post, but all of them escape me at this moment. It's one of those mornings, the kind where you wake up and all the electricity is off. The kind where the only things you have to eat are microwaveable. The kind where the computer you need to reboot your internet has disappeared inexplicably (side note, wtf?!). So, in the spirit of my crappy morning, you're not getting an introduction, my one follower who I had to beg to do so. Suck on that.

Cougar Town *ABC 9:30 PM* (8/10)

In a world of laugh-tracks and constant sex jokes in sitcoms, Cougar Town breaks out of one of those molds and squeezes another for all it's worth. Courtney Cox, in her triumphant return to television after the disgusting mess that was Dirt, plays Jules, a forty year-old divorcee who is ready to get back on the dating scene. Along with her mid-twenties friend Laurie, played by a hilarious Busy Phillips (Dawson's Creek), she tries to fit in with the under thirty crowd and find a hot boy toy.

If this sounds gimmicky to you, then you're right on the money. Cougar Town is as camp as Ugly Betty, albeit with less colors and considerably less bitchitry. Cox wisely plays a self-deprecating role, not unlike her one-time Friends co-star Lisa Kudrow did when she played a washed-up star in the short lived Showtime series The Comeback. This gives her a "fresh faced, eager to please" attitude. In the male roles, What I Like About You's Nick Zano plays her current love interest while Josh Hopkins (Pepper Dennis, Brothers and Sisters) is cast as her womanizing neighbor.

If the new Britney Spears song "3" was a television show, this would be it. This is pure and unadulterated fun, despite sporting more sex jokes than you could shake a dildo at. Not for the easily offended, as this is "Desperate Houswives: The Sitcom Version" but with Eva Longoria Parker and Teri Hatcher's characters smashed into a single lead role. Recommended.

Owl City "Ocean Eyes" (3/10)

Electronic music is generally hit or miss. To succeed in this narrow market, you have to have creativity, spark, and originality. Imogen Heap is a good example of how to make an awesome electronic record. It's interesting without being over-done, she's not auto-tuned in every song, and each track is easily distinguished from the next.

This is not so with Adam Young's project Owl City. If Hannah Montana had a younger brother with a Macbook, OC is what he would sound like. It's throwaway trash without any oomph behind it, which makes it fall short of peers such as Ashley Tisdale or even Vanessa "basically what we're going to do is dance" Hudgens. Why? Because it's been done. Over and freakin' over.

Young sounds like a neutered Matthew Theissen on every song. His tunes inflate like bubbles blown from one of those wands: Pretty, light, but ultimately pointless. The various interchangeable lyrics range from creepy ("I'll watch the night turn light blue/but it's not the same without you") to stupid ("Hello Seattle, I am a mountaineer") to pathetic ("I've been to the dentist, so I know the drill"). He makes Jesse McCartney look like Mozart, mainly because it seems like he puts no effort into his songs.

Frankly, this is a flash-in-the-pan album that will not hold up six months from now. The reason for its success is simple: Tweens are tired of Nick Jonas. The teen heartthrob scene needs a fresh face, and these Postal Service-lite songs are just what the doctor ordered. Unfortunatley this doctor is more Kevorkian than Feelgood, so beware your brain cells when you hit play on this electronic dud.

Download this: Vanilla Twilight (if you must)