Glee Finale Recap: Lights, Camera, Macktion?

Glee "Sectionals" (8.5/10)

Miracles happen every day, my friends. Sometimes women lift cars to rescue children, sometimes the Cincinnati Cardinals win a baseball game (my first sports reference! Dan Rather, eat your heart out). Sometimes, even more shockingly, Glee comes up with a terrific episode that bolsters my confidence for the second half of the season.

The road to the sectionals (which is the title of the DVD set, by "pure" coincidence) was not without its pitfalls. To pick a glaring example, there were times when certain stories were MIA for two or three episodes at a time. But I decided, as I clicked "Watch Live TV" on my Tivo screen, that I was going to watch this finale as if I knew what had happened, but not how it did. And the result was astounding. By depriving myself of any prejudices about blunders past, it helped me to enjoy what was a very successful follow-through on what had been promised in the pilot.

But first I have to complain for a skinny minute about a few minor grievances the show committed tonight. I'll list them as they are in my notes.

The Bad Things:

- The suspicion = knowledge plot point at the beginning had me reeling on the ground in abject horror. Thank God the episode got better from there.

- The pedophilia coming from one of the judge's ("Those girls shook it in all the right places") was not as funny as the producers intended.

- What in the name of all that is camp was Mercedes wearing during her rendition of "And I'm Telling You..."? I'm not a fashion critic, but that top was FUG.

- What was with the size of the trophy? They make that for a competition between three teams who didn't have to even compete in a qualifying round? It just didn't jive logically.

- Why did the ghetto school steal the wheelchair thing? That only makes sense when the McKinnley high students did it. When the black kids preformed like that, it would have appeared to be totally out of the blue and without context.

Anyway, like I said, these are relatively minor complaints. Now we shall move on to...

The Good Things:

- The episode had a distinctly satisfying conclusion. Even though everyone knew what was coming, Jayma May's incredible acting made it seem unpredictable and magical.

- I was totally wrong about Amber Riley's version of "And I'm Telling You..." It was great. And, like Lea Michele's later song "Don't Rain on My Parade" (my personal pick for best performance of the season) it didn't sound produced or studio-ized.

- I stand by my critique of the Kelly Clarkson song, but it the "You Can't Always Get What You Want" number had me smiling throughout the whole thing.

- Just like last week, the reveal of Quinn's baby's father's (that's a lot of possessive forms, peeps!) identity was done very organically. Diana Agathon really got to show off her acting chops tonight.

- I guess this was a girls' episode, because Jane Lynch, while not bitingly funny like she usually is, was in top shape dramatically. Her spot-on delivery of the rapid-fire dialogue didn't even make me think about the cliches that were pouring out her mouth (until just now.) The woman surpassed Matthew Morrison's feeble acting in every single scene, and she should be commended for that.

- The judge's panel (apart from the statutory rape hiccup) was very funny and very well done. In an episode that wasn't banking on the humor, it was a nice relief.

- It was nice to see Will and Emma hit it off, but it was equally nice to see Rachel and Finn NOT get together. It would have been a cheese overload, and it was a great call on the part of the producers.

Final Thoughts:

Glee certainly didn't bring it this season like I wanted it to. The baby subplots got old fast, the romance was a episode-by-episode affair, and the illogical reasons for things wore thin by the seventh installment. Nonetheless, I am still intrigued by what could have been a train-wreck finale, and was turned into a great show. With Terri out of Will's life (for now) and with all the secrets revealed, maybe the wait until April will give the writers time to find the magic again. And if they do, this could turn out to be a great show after all.

Glee Recap: Lea-Lovin'

Glee "Mattress" (6/10)

Once upon a time, there was a beautiful girl with a beautiful voice. She lived in a land called Broadway and sang for the joy of the American people. Then one day, as soon as it had come, it was gone. The girl left the street that had brought her joy, and she was exiled to a place that auto-tuned her voice and made her character unlikable. The evil writers strung her up and had her sing, then changed it into garbage for their own amusement. But, one day, the girl said "Screw this" and decided to rise above the petty and illogical writing, the awful mutilation of her voice, and her weak-vocally-and-acting-wise partner to produce television magic. And it was known throughout the world as the day Lea Michele saved Glee.

Okay, so that might be overkill, but there was still not a lot to latch on to in this episode. Oh no, they draw on Finn's face with marker! Oh no, Emma is still going to marry the fat dude (am I the only one who thought that already happened?)! Oh no, the quick-fire recap was rendered useless by the amount of material! Oh no, Matthew Morrison is starting to reveal that he's not that good of an actor! But, even through all that, Ms. Michele gave her best performance to date as Rachel Berry. So I'm dedicating this recap to all the GOOD things that happened at McKinnley High this week.

- While the auto-tune was as tragic as ever, the lip-synching was mostly on point.

- Apart from the cheesy "I WILL talk to Figgins!" declaration from Will, the first scene was well-shot, well-written, and show-cased Jane Lynch's deadpan comedy nicely. The line about her not needing tear ducts actually got a chuckle from me. Between that, Sue's corner, and her comments to Quinn, this was a great episode for Lynch.

- Rachel singing Smile might have been drastically over-produced, but it was still enjoyable and fun to watch/hear. Again, kudos to Lea for making the best out of a bunk situation.

- Getting to the commercial was much less forced than plots in episodes past.

- If you take the mattress scene at face value, it was a pretty awesome musical number. The choreography and such was done very well. Even though I wish they hadn't given the exposition about "performing" (as if they could learn all that in fifteen minutes) it was a solid "movie musical" song.

- The way Will found out about Terri's non-pregnancy was totally legit. I expected some big soap opera moment where she told someone who told someone who told him, but this was a very pleasant surprise. And strangely enough, the scene where he confronts his wife is a much better vehicle for her. Gilsig is a powerful actress, and this plot point showed just how incredible she is. This scene was also logical and well-thought out.

- I'm not sure why the company would pay them in mattresses, but it sure made for a convenient segue.

- We got a Big Bang Theory cross-over with the photographer!

All in all, this was a decent hour of television. Which means it was a huge comeback from the last two weeks. Here's hoping Glee can continue this ascension into the mid-season finale.

Glee Recap: Deaf, Dumb, and Blind

Glee "Hairography" (3/10)

When I watched the eighth episode of this "beloved" series (Mash-up), I declared it was the worst hour of television I had ever seen. Well, now Glee is giving that steaming pile of horse crap a run for its money. The show committed many offenses this week, five of which I will be calling forward. Let's go in order of most to least bothersome.

1. Jane Lynch is being used as if she is a freaking extra. The woman gets no screen time anymore, apparently preferring to come on, spout a couple (iffy) one liners, then fade into the background. It's a bad use of the character and the actress. On the other hand, again recalling Mash-up, she really didn't do well when she got her own story line. Still, if Lynch is looking to snag an Emmy nomination, she better darn well put more time in front of a camera.

2. The stereotypes are driving me to the point of exhaustion. Kurt is a caricature, his only purpose being his sexuality. Do you think the writers ever intend for him to have a relationship on the show? Because I'm starting to doubt it. Also, the "token hood school" introduced us right off the bat to two offensive black characters. Did Eve even read the script before she decided to be on this episode? "We might be thieves and arsonists, but we never cheat." Seriously? Apart from Mercedes, this is the first African American with a decent part on the show, and we turn her into a white-pride wet dream? Ugh.

3. The story lines episode to episode are either illogical or unneeded. Quinn tried to make it work with Puck... and failed. Kurt still harbored feelings for Finn.... and didn't really do anything about it. Rachel and Finn almost hooked up.... but then he liked the way she looked BEFORE. Quinn wanted to keep the baby....but then decided to give it up again. Nothing happened! It was a stagnant, static episode with no real plot development. As if this wasn't bad enough, the story points leading up to the skirmish require giant leaps of faith. Will thinks that Sue might have leaked his plays, so he confronts a random school, who randomly decided to do random randomness. WHAT IS GOING ON?! And did anyone else find it weird that in the first competition only one team performed? The ideas for musical numbers are getting old.

4. The deaf kids singing Imagine made me want to curl up and die. Enough said.

5. The best song in the episode was Quinn singing Papa Don't Preach (suddenly a lullaby?), which was beautiful and (possibly?) without studio manipulation. Then she gets totally cut off at the knees by the producers making the song about 70 seconds long. Really? We get four minutes of some heinous, auto-tuned version of Imagine while that wonderful rendition gets about as much time as Rachel's whore-over?

Am I crazy for being fascinated with the hot mess this show has become? I don't miss an episode, even though I hate it to my very core. It's like hairography itself: flashy, catchy, but ultimately a distraction.

Glee Recap: Obsessive-Repulsive

Glee "Ballads" (4/10)

Spoiler Alert: Do not read this recap unless you have seen the entirety of Glee episode 1.10

This show is driving me crazy with its inane plot lines. Sure, it was fun at first; Mercedes not knowing Kurt was gay (well that friendship's gone *poof* hasn't it?), Will's wife hiding her non-pregnancy (another story left out of the equation of late), Jane Lynch's obsession with taking Will down. But Glee is like a hyper kid off of his ADD medication, it never sticks to a story. What I assumed to be a serial show has lately been diving into the unfortunate waters of week-to-week storytelling. This is no bueno.

Let's start with what I did like about "Ballads." This week marked the welcome return of Jayma May's Emma Pillsbury. As always, Mays lit up the screen with a glow that is too rare on television these days. It also gave Sarah Drew (Everwood) a hilarious guest spot as Suzy Pepper. It's a little far-fetched that Drew is still playing a high school student (and that they made her cover her gorgeous face with ghastly makeup) but it was still a cool shout out to her fans.

It was also nice to see the Kurt/Finn story take another step forward. This had been hinted at in earlier episodes, and it turned awkward comedy into something really interesting and funny. I just wish the writers would work a little harder on the NON-Kurt specific story arcs.

However, I will now list five things about this episode that made me either cringe, frown, or want to curl up in a ball and die:

1. The "I'll Stand By You" scene. Finn's voice is not pleasing to the ears, and, even through electronic mutilation (not a typo), it has never reached the heights of what it was during "Don't Stop Believing." Also, the clunky line explaining Kurt's piano skills was nothing compared to the inexplicable way Finn knew all the words to the song. And why was there no viable lie he could tell his mother when it came to the sonogram? School project? Curiosity? WTF?

2. Suzy Pepper's story did not have a funny ending like it was meant to. In fact, I was feeling the same way I do when I see a mentally challenged person sing on Idol. It's just sad, not humorous.

3. HEINOUS LIP-SYNCHING BE DAMNED! Sorry, I had the caps lock on, but now that I look at it, that is the perfect format to put such a strong sentiment in. Will and Rachel, you were both Broadway actors! Why can't the producers let you just sing? Maybe then it wouldn't sound like the Kidz Bop albums or a second-rate cover band doing karaoke at a late-night bar. The reasons for injecting pop-Broadway numbers into the episodes are also starting to wear thin. It's a musical! They don't need a cheesy reason (like trying to tell someone to back off, seriously, WTF?) to sing! Although Emma's reaction to Will's singing was one of the few good things that came out of it.

4. Puck's been keeping a secret for 9 episodes and Mercedes is the first person he blabs to? I mean, it's not as if he hasn't expressed his emotions to Quinn, it's not like they're bottled up inside. It was just a manufactured way to make drama amongst the group, which is feeling more and more fractured.

5. Rachel liking Will just made for a crappy one-episode plot device. Again, it was forced, it was cheesy, it was cliche. It. Was. BAD!

This episode sucked. Besides the very sweet and funny Kurt and Finn story, it had little to nothing going for it. I hope the writer's can dig themselves out of this hole they've created, or this show is going to be swallowed up by stupidity faster than you can say "too many baby lies."

Glee Recap: The Wheels Come Off

Glee Season 1 Episode 9: "Wheels" (6.5/10)

*Spoiler Alert* Do not read if you haven't watched episode 1.09.

Let me start by saying that ninety percent of this episode was solid. The jokes were (while less in number) good, the emotion was at an all time high, and everything made sense. I had every intention of going online and praising Ryan Murphy and co. after the hour was up. Sadly, the late-show plot twist involving Artie ruined what could have been fantastic. More on that later.

The focus of the episode, weirdly, was not on the kid in the wheelchair. In fact, the Artie story-line probably garnered the least amount of screen time. The two plots that got the most traction were 1. Sue Selvester's inexplicable choice to let a mentally challenged girl join the Cheerios and 2. the developments with Kurt's sexuality as it pertains to his home life. The former will be more talked about, though the latter really showed that the writers can take a conventional cliche and turn it on it's head.

Maybe it was because I was crying a little bit, but I didn't catch the fact that the botched note on Kurt's solo was on purpose. I actually thought I saw a little fear in his eyes, which pointed me in the opposite direction. Looking back, that was kind of a "wah-wah-wahhh" way to end the story, but the show is redeemed by Kurt's father's attitude towards his son's homosexuality. Besides Kevin on Brothers and Sisters there really isn't a more refreshing attitude towards the gay community on television.

The Sue plot line had me weeping by the end. I thought it was brilliant to give her a disabled sister, even if it was a little bit predictable. I just hope the writers are smart enough to use this in the future, rather than use it up and toss it aside. Jane Lynch didn't really have any biting moments this week, but that was okay after the bungling of her episode thread in "Mash-up" (more like "Throw-Up.")

Now to the sad news: either Artie's a dick, or the show did something reeeaaalllllyyy stupid with his character. I mean come on, he's really going to bail on a girl that he likes because she faked a stutter? And what is with her faking it to begin with? The whole scene was just forced and weird, and it felt like they were creating conflict where no conflict needed to be. It was just as deadly as anything that happened two weeks ago. And that's saying something.

Oh, and the whole Puck/Rachel/Finn/Quinn story didn't progress at all. They wanted you to think it did, but nothing changed, nothing grew, and nothing will be different for the characters in seven days. The cupcake thing was pretty hilarious though.

Overall, this a huge step up from last time. However, the writers need to get out of "cliche high school land" and back into the groove of what we know they're capable of. Until they do, this will just be another slightly-better-than-mediocre show on Fox's roster.