A-medical Idol

American Idol Season Premiere Recap:

Today I dealt with being late to class, standing in the freezing cold for fifteen minutes, and eating nothing but a yogurt parfait all day. The one thought running through my head: "Finally, after all this crap, I get to watch American Freaking Idol."

I am not exaggerating when I say this is my favorite show of all time. Since season 3, I have never missed an episode. I find it enthralling, entertaining, enjoyable, heart-rending (Carly! Allison! Megan!), and ultimately the best way to spend 1-2 hours. I watch with my mother, who basically mimics the judge's opinions, so it also takes great resolve to have all these emotions swirling inside me.

The Judges

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I knew we were in for a hot mess of a critic as soon as Victoria Beckham walked through the door in all her Posh glory. First, she looked like Barbie: The Grandma Version in day one. Seriously, I almost thought if you lifted up her dress, you'd find painted-on underwear. Plus, for a "fashion icon," her simple red dress was rather boring and drab. It wasn't the worst look of the episode, but, for a former Spice Girl, it was very disappointing.

Simon was in prime form (thank the heavens). It wasn't just the same "boring, horrible, annoying" schtick. For the first audition (Janet, the AI video game lady) he asked "Does this window open?" while they were on what had to be a 20+ floor. In another, when a contestant said they were going to Hollywood, he replied "And I can fly to the moon. Well, actually, I can." It was a brilliant line and a brilliant night for Simon.

Kara had some hiccups. Let's list them in order from least to most appalling:

- "I bet your mom makes gooood sauce."

- *dramatic voice* "You, who(m) I do not like, AT ALL."

- "You need a spanking!"

As for Randy's staying on and Paula's absence, this is all I will say: I never cared for the dawg, and I will get over Paula's departure. It is not a fatal blow to the show.

The Good

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While there were no Adam Lambert or even David Cook type singers in the mix in the two hours, there was a good dose of possible talent. Maddy, the girl with the four autistic brothers, picked the most predictable song, but sang it well enough. I don't see her making it to the finals, but a semi-final trip may be in her future.

Also in the "good voice, crap song choice" category were Luke Shaffer, who sang "Fall for You" by Secondhand Serenade (aka, the most pretentious band/person in the world) and Ashley Rodriguez who decided on "If I Ain't got You" by Alicia Keys. Luke was good (and very cute) but I couldn't get past the cheesy lyrics. If I were at that judging table (fingers crossed!) I would have made him sing another song. Ashley was even better, but again, the song choice threw me for a loop. This is a little number that every ethnic girl has sung on this show, so why show no originality as an artist by doing the exact same thing?

Not having this problem at all, the three girl montage of Jennifer Hirsh, Claire Fuller, and Jess Wolfe ripped through their songs. Jess stood out from the rest of the pack by doing a lovely version of "People Get Ready" by The Impressions. As of right now, she is my favorite to win the entire show. In that 10 second clip, she made me love her.

Now we come to the medical drama portion of the show. I get it, backstories get ratings. But really? In a half hour we had to hear the three sob stories of "boy with cancer," "girl with Alzheimeric grandmother," and "boy who shattered his two wrists by falling out of a tree." I'm not saying any of these should be handled with anything but respect, but still, I am so over the "story beats vocals" type of rock-paper-scissors game that this show has been playing.

The Bad

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Even though I liked the look (wink) of Joshua Blaylock, and I liked his personality, I do not want to hear "God Bless the Broken Road" one more time on Idol. I don't even like the song in the first place, so why do I need to hear a watered-down, smiley version?

Derek Hilton (long-lost brother to Paris?) was like taking Chris Brown and putting him through the washer while he sings. Still, I saw a voice there. Which was also the case with Lisa Olivero, who ripped out the soul of "Treating Me Kind" and ate it whole. In a bad way. Again, I really do think there is a voice there. It kills me when contestants have the stuff, but refuse to hit the notes. I just want to shake them while screaming "What is wrong with you?!"

Then we have AI game girl, guy who pissed off Kara, dude who looked like Janet Jackson (best critique of the night!), and Bosa, the kid that got through even though he was dry as toast (Hell Week will not be kind to you, bud). I don't really care about any of these, so let's leave it there, eh?

Conclusion

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It was a fine episode. There were a lot more bad auditions than I would have liked, but the two hours set up the season nicely. As usual (except for Jess), I did not see anyone that I am immediately attached to. That will come during the semi-finals. And who knows? Maybe a new Allison Iraheta is waiting to pounce on the music world. We shall see.

Pure-Bred

Ke$ha "Animal" (8/10)

When the best pop albums of the 2000s are decided, it's unfortunate that Ms. Kesha Serbet's will be five days shy of being eligible. Lady who? Britney what? Ke$ha has created the near-perfect pop album with Animal, something that Brit and Gaga have yet to do.

And it's not as if these and other pop divas haven't put out some great work. It's just that for every "Poker Face" on The Fame there was a "Money Honey" that fell short of the mark. For every "If You Seek Amy" on Circus there was a "My Baby."With the exception of one track, there is none of that to be found on Animal. 13 out of 14 songs are engrossing, interesting, sometimes even insightful tunes that both pack an emotional whallop and have fun. That's a hard balance to find.

It all begins with one of the strongest tracks "Your Love is My Drug." It chugs along with this light, breezy energy that has been quite absent from electro-pop music lately. The best moment comes at the end of the song when she's quietly repeating the refrain, proving that her voice can survive without synthesizers.

Then her first single, Tik Tok comes around. I won't go into detail, as pretty much everyone in America has heard it. Safe to say it is another extremely powerful song. The third number, Take It Off, is probably the biggest throwaway of the album. After two exceptional performances, this seems like a pale imitation. Kiss and Tell, track 4, is not that way at all. It surpasses even the opening double punch and makes itself known as the best fast tune on the CD.

What's great about Ke$ha is her diligence to pure fun. Even on slower songs, like Stephen, Hungover, and Blind, she creates an atmosphere and a presence. Some are dark-tinged, but all are wonderful. Also of special mention is Backstabber, which is an even stronger version than the ridiculously catchy demo she released two years ago.

It would be foolish not to discuss the last track on the record, as it is one of the most interesting I've ever heard. The way the song progresses, you feel like you're gliding softly over the African plains, then suddenly you're in a passionate embrace. The shift in imagery is astounding, in no small part because it happens in a split second. Ke$ha has created a gem with her debut, a sparkling, vibrant world where "show me where your dick's at" is an acceptable phrase. A world where party's don't end until dawn. It might not be a perfect world, but it's hers. And isn't that what music is about?

Rose Bowl Recap

HAHAHAHA! As if! Happy New Years!